


Kimi No Suki Na Uta

by thiective



Category: CLAMP - Works, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: CLAMP references, Cameos, Eventual Subaru/Kamui, Eventual Yuuto/Karen, F/F, F/M, Flower Shop AU!, Implied Death, Implied Pairings, Implied abuse, M/M, Modern AU!, Oblivious!Kamui, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Subaru's the florist!, does dark thoughts count as violent?, first love/puppy love, flower shop au, flower symbolism, past pairings, people modelling, some thought process going very dark, subaru used to be a past-model cause in canon Hokuto dresses him up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 04:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13628316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiective/pseuds/thiective
Summary: He steps into the shop, and Subaru watches one of the customers now a regular customer rises, falls, and blooms again in front of his eyes and heart in his throat. Otherwise known as Subaru falls for Kamui.beta-read by kier from discord.Note: I would like to thank kier for being my editor to this fic, because I've very much needed a second opinion. Also, I would like to thank katrea for giving me this challenge. This is for you, my fellow Subaru/Kamui shipper.Extra Note: The title is based from a song from Uverworld, one of my favorite Japanese bands.





	1. White Roses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katrea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrea/gifts).



"Subaru! Stop moping! It's been a month already!" Subaru winces at the loud thumping of his bedroom door and sighs. The pictures in the album lay opened on the floor and scattered around were photos. Pictures of him, his twin sister and of an older man with a jovial smile that hides something darker.

"Su-ba-ru! If you don't open this door right now, I will kick it open!" He blinks, his attention ripped away from the photo album to his sister's voice. She couldn't be serious...

"Three!"

"Two!" Oh god, she is! Subaru scrambled for the door to open it in time to witness his sister in mid-kick. He stares at her incredulously.

"About time, now hurry up Subaru! We need to open the shop!" Hokuto exclaimed, taking hold of Subaru's arm and it took one second to notice his clothing. She narrows her green eyes at the plain pajamas and aims a scowl at her twin.

"You haven't even changed yet, have you?" Subaru flinched guiltily, and Hokuto sighed, a fond smile blooms on her face. "What are you going to do without me?"

He gives her a weak, sheepish laugh. "Probably be moping and-" She looks at him unamused.

"If you are going to continue that sentence, I'll make you wear the underwear collection I designed for the Piffle & Daidouji and do the catwalk while wearing it!" Hokuto said with a frown, Subaru went silent at this. Hokuto stares at Subaru for a bit more then her scowl softens into a worried frown.

"Subaru, I'm worried about you. You don't go out anymore. You don't sleep well. Please take care of yourself more, and who knows, maybe you find another person."

"I don't know, Hokuto-chan." The twin brother said as he looked at the floor. Hokuto frowned, then a mischief gleam enters her eyes.

"C'mon," She drags him back into his room. "I'm going to do a makeover on you! You'll be quite the catch enough to get a husband or a wife!" The male Sumeragi feels his face heated up as he was dragged back into his room.

"Hokuto-chan!" Hokuto smiles at this.

_That trick never fails._

* * *

Subaru sighs again. That was the sixth person that hadn't caught his interest. He has dressed attractively in his black shirt, blue jeans and the store's green apron, not enough to send a population of all genders rushing to the shop to get his number, but enough to get curious stares with blushes. It was enough to get the customers to talk to him about making a bouquet of flowers but went far than the norm in asking if he was free. The doorbell chimed, signaling another customer is coming in through the door. He puts down the scissors and wrapping paper and turns around with a friendly face with a smile, practiced words on his lips and he stares.

Dull violet eyes that filled with sadness, messy chocolate hair, he wore a suit, but by his facial appearance, it's not a happy occasion.

Subaru continues on staring, looking at how lean the person in front of his counter is, how the suit emphasis his body shape, how his hair frames a face that's close to feminine. One could say the person in front of him is attractive, but all Subaru could think was...

"Hey." The male in front of him said. His voice hoarse from sadness, and although the sadness hadn't left his eyes, a bit of curiosity shines through them. "Can I have a bouquet of white roses?"

Wordlessly, and Subaru doesn't think he can talk with his voice because it might squeak or stutter in embarrassment, he nods. He takes a dozen white roses from a bucket behind a fridge, carefully cuts the thorns off, and sets them on a store vase. He doesn't think he can talk now or ask what the violet-eyed male would like for color of the bouquet wrapping to be, been too busy trying to work his voice to speak to him when his sister steps into the shop from the back.

"Subaru, there's a delivery in the back that will come- Kamui-chan?" Subaru slumps his shoulders a bit as he watches those violet eyes brightens a bit, blinked in surprise, looks from Subaru to Hokuto and then back.

"You're not Hokuto-san?" Surprise colors Kamui's voice, and Hokuto snorts good naturally.

"Subaru is my twin brother, and also the co-employer of Chobits Flower Shop. I'm surprised that you didn't notice." Subaru watches in astonishment as the corner of Kamui's lips twitched up.

"I have a lot in my mind." There was an apologetic tone in Kamui's voice. Hokuto smirks.

"Have you proposed to her yet?" Subaru feels a stone dropped into his stomach. Of course, someone as attractive as Kamui has someone that he likes. Someone who is the opposite of his gender, someone that's-

"No." Subaru blinks in surprise at this.

"What do you mean ‘No?!'" Hokuto screeched. Now that Subaru thinks about it, the brightness in Kamui's eyes dimmed, and he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"S-she," Kamui inhales a shaky breath. "passed away before I even got to." Hokuto gasped, Subaru feels like someone had squeezed his throat at the amount of emotion in the others' voice.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Kamui blinks and looks at Subaru. Subaru realizes with a small blush on his face that he was the one who said that for the first time since Kamui steps into the shop.

"It's alright. I probably will be hearing those words all day today." The violet-eyed male said with a reassuring smile on his lips. The smile surprises Subaru, and it warms him that he was able to make that happen. Hokuto elbows him in the side and flashes him a knowing smirk. The Sumeragi twin coughs behind his hand to hide the remaining blush.

"What color of the wrapping paper would you like?" Kamui looks at the arrangement of colors on the shelves, knowing Kotori, she had a favorite color.

"She likes yellow." Subaru jerkily nods, he doesn't know how he was able to function correctly to make the bouquet and cutting the ribbon but manages it, and hands the bouquet to Kamui.

"H-here is the bouquet." Kamui gingerly takes the white roses, and Subaru tries not to shiver at feeling warm fingers touches his own. Kamui checks the white roses and smiles at the arrangement.

"Thank you, how much will it cost?" Subaru clears his throat again because he felt it go dry and he was about to answer when Hokuto injected herself into the conversation.

"It's on the house today." Kamui looks at Hokuto with wide eyes and Subaru sputters.

"H-Hokuto-chan!"

"I-I seriously can't, I don't want to take advantage-" Kamui protested, and Hokuto huffs before rounding around the counter and pushed Kamui towards the door.

"It's fine, and I told you it's on the house. So don't worry, why don't you join the funeral and come back next time when you are feeling better, ok? Ok, that's great! Bye!" Hokuto successfully pushes Kamui out of the door, switches the sign and looks back at her brother with a glee.

"You like him." Subaru blanched at this accusation from his twin sibling.

"No, I don't! His girlfriend just died!"

"Yes, his girlfriend died. That does not mean that you didn’t think about liking him!"

"No, I don't like him like that!"

"Then why didn't you ask him for his phone number so you can talk to him instead of here?!" Subaru feels his face going more further into the red.

"I was trying to be friendly with him!" Hokuto raises an eyebrow at this.

"Right, and I'm the psychic of a famous manga sold in the 90’s by four women." His twin sister fixed him with an unimpressed stare and he was fumbling for an excuse when her cell phone ranged. She shoots him a look that says ‘this-is-not-over' before she answered the call.

Subaru sighs in relief. He doesn't want to go down the route of falling in love, but the genuine smiles and violet eyes that brighten gives him a soft smile.

He can't help but think Kamui is beautiful.


	2. Purple and Pink Amaryllis

It's been a slow week, and not a sign of a chocolate haired male with violet eyes. Subaru wasn't sure if he was dreaming of imagining Kamui stepping into the flower shop or if Kamui only came in once in every while.

Hokuto was out shopping for fabrics with her boyfriend, Kakyou, when the doorbell chimed. His head snapped up in attention, and the subject of his thoughts and doubt is at the flower shop door. His violet eyes glanced around the shop before they settled on Subaru, and Subaru feels like a thousand butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"Hi, Subaru-san." Kamui greets the older man with a smile and walks towards his counter, Subaru stood rooted to the spot, his hands feel clammy, and they fidgeted to look for something to do.

"H-Hi." Kamui looks at Subaru with a curious frown. "Is everything alright? I can come back at a better time." Subaru panics.

"N-No, it's fine! Just I've never gotten your full name." Subaru winced, and Kamui looks surprised at him. _What a way to sound like a creep…_

"Oh right, I never did give out my last name did I?" Kamui sheepishly laughs. "I'm Shirou Kamui. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sumeragi Subaru." The violet-eyed male said as he held out his hand. "I hope you don't mind if I call you ‘Subaru-san.'" Subaru feels a soft smile spreading on his lips. He ignores the faint blush on his cheeks because the smile on Kamui's face is amazingly doing wonders to him. Kamui had occupied his mind for the last couple of days with questions about him. He asked Hokuto some questions about Kamui, but all he got was teasing that made him blush red to the tip of his ears.

"I would like it better if you call me Subaru, and allow me to call you Kamui." Kamui stares at him, a faint blush bloomed, and a grin on his face as Subaru shakes his hand.

"I will, Subaru." His heart does flip-flops, and he ignores the signs of warnings in his mind that he shouldn't be thinking of like this when his heart is still…He retracts his hand and gives Kamui a polite smile.

"So how may I help you today?" Kamui either did not notice the shift of change in Subaru's body language or how he retracted his hand, as he looks at the arrangement of flowers.

"Do you know any flowers that means friendship?" Subaru hums at this and gestures him to follow. The green-eyed man leads Kamui to the pink amaryllis and yellow roses.

"The pink amaryllis or yellow roses represent friendship. Which would you like Kamui?"

"I think I have seen enough of roses last week so that amaryllis will do." Kamui said, and while Subaru plucks a couple of the amaryllis, Subaru glanced at him and his breath caught at seeing a sad smile on the Kamui’s lips.

"What do you besides working in Chobits, Subaru?" Kamui's question came out as a surprise to Subaru that he almost dropped the pink flowers.

"I research the occult and folklore." The answer slips from his mouth, and Kamui looked at him, tilts his head to the side.

"Sounds interesting. What do you research about?" Subaru turns his head at Kamui in surprise.

"What?" Subaru worked his mouth to answer Kamui's question, which it was difficult due to his tongue felt like it’s tied in knots.

"Y-your not faking it, right?" Kamui blinks and scowls at this.

"I'm not, I think it's interesting." Subaru blinks twice before laughing slightly.

"Subaru?" He calmed down his laughter, a smile on his face.

"It's nothing. I'm just glad." Kamui stares for a bit as if trying to see if the green-eyed man is telling the truth. When he did find it, he lets out a smirk.

"If someone says it’s wrong, don't let them get to you." Subaru chuckles at the haughty tone of the other's voice.

"So besides the pink amaryllis, what else would you like?"

"What do you have that represent life?" Subaru grins at this.

"Daffodils that mean rebirth or eternal life, but purple amaryllis represent life as well on the spiritual side." Kamui hums in thought about this.

"I think purple amaryllis would do." Subaru nods, and he gathers a couple of the purple flowers. He brings both the pink and purple amaryllis to the table and puts them in a store vase covered in a plastic bag.

"If you don't mind me asking, who are these flowers for?" Kamui's silence feels peaceful, but for Subaru, it raises his anxiety.

"It's for my aunt. She had taken care of me when my mother died in a fire when I was fourteen." Just like last time, Subaru wonders if his question had hurt Kamui in reopening emotional wounds.

"If you are going to say ‘My condolences for your loss,' I appreciate it, but I'm fine." Subaru grips his scissors a little.

"Seriously, it's fine. It was three years ago. I missed my mom, I still loved her, but I'm grateful for my Aunt for taking me in." The age bomb makes him drop his scissors on to the table.

"You are seventeen?" That was not a squeak. That was most _definitely not_ a squeak. Kamui looks at him amused at this.

"Yes, but I'll be eighteen in two months." Minor, he’s a minor, oh god, he's a dirty old man like Seishirou. Oddly enough, that fact didn't distress him as much as it should. Absently getting the paper of Kamui's choice, a royal purple, he wraps up the bouquet and begins to ring it up. Dragging himself out of shock at the payment he received, he noticed it's more than the original amount and frowned.

"This isn't the right amount."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it isn't. I'm afraid I have to give you change."

"Keep the change." Subaru's hand screeched to a halt, and he looks at Kamui in surprise.

"W-why?" Kamui looks back at him in confusion.

"It's for the white roses." Subaru looks back at Kamui in confusion.

"Didn't Hokuto-chan say it's on the house?" Kamui shifts slightly.

"She doesn't have to know." Kamui hedged, and Subaru snorts silently.

"She will. She's the bookkeeper." Kamui pouts at this.

"I can't simply bribe you, can I?" Subaru cracks a smirk.

"You'll have to try a bit harder than that." There's a flicker of a smirk, and Kamui takes one pink amaryllis and purple amaryllis from the bouquet and gives them to Subaru.

"As a token of your silence then." Subaru blinks slowly, as if not being able to believe it himself, but he gingerly takes the flowers from the seventeen-year-old.

Subaru is 28 years old, recently gotten out of a relationship that was toxic, and he swallows down the beats creating by his heart.

"Until next time Subaru!"

…a selfish and dirty old man that doesn’t deserve or try to gain Kamui's affections.


	3. Yellow Daffodil

They've been talking to each other once in every week and got to know each other through meetings and switching contact numbers for their likes, dislikes, their families, and friends. Thoughts about his ex-had long since become a background, and while Subaru should feel guilty and tries very hard to, he doesn't. They discovered each other's age that Kamui first girlfriend happened to be a Monou Kotori who died from bone cancer. Kamui learned that Subaru came out of a toxic relationship with the help of his twin sister. They learned about each other's dreams, fears, hobbies, and Subaru felt like he knew Kamui all his life.

"What flowers do you give to someone you love?" Subaru's body screeches to a halt.

"Yellow Daffodils. Usually one would do, why?" Subaru asks Kamui the question. Anxiety rises, and his heart in his throat because he doesn't think he is ready for something like this to happen.

"It's more of a crush than loving them. At least, I think so." Kamui eyes look away, and a rising blush decorates the young male's face. Kamui shrugs a bit. "He asked a few days ago after I was eighteen."

In honesty, Subaru forgot that Kamui isn't seventeen anymore. He was invited to his birthday party by two teens, an excited Sorata and stoic Arashi. He politely turned it down, the Shop was busy, and he doesn't like dealing with crowds much. When Hokuto heard about it, she swatted his head, saying he was an idiot for wasting a chance like that.

"So who is it for?" Subaru prayed that his voice didn't shake, the slight trembled in his voice almost did. Maybe it was during his relationship with Seishirou, that he began to ignore the pain resounding inside him. He marvels at the way a beautiful blush dusted on Kamui's cheeks like a lily when touched, mouth shaping into a soft and vulnerable smile that spoke volumes of love and respect that it breaks the last part of denial inside him.

"I was cautious about this at first, but he put on quite an argument that I should at least try." A sharp sting passes through his heart, makes his body stiffens, and grits his teeth behind his lips. "He has been there for me when Kotori passed away."

_Don't break, don't throw anything, don't shout!_

"He's the older brother of Kotori. I've known him about as long as I've known Kotori." The sting becomes more pronounced than he thought it would be. Subaru watches with a detached state and growing pain at how the person he grew to care about and talking about someone else, has their heart set on another.

_I should've gone to his eighteenth birthday party..._

"So how much is for three daffodils?" The bright smile on Kamui shouldn't bring euphoria during his current state of emotions, and it shouldn't have made him want to thirst for it when the last shred of Seishirou resides in his heart. Subaru effortlessly rattled off the price. As if he was viewing from a TV screen in an odd, detached state, and his fingers fumbled for the change on the cash register. A stray coin fell to the floor, he apologized politely and reached for the coin on the floor. Taking it, he stands up and blinks and tries not to swallow audibly at how close Kamui's face is to his. His face marred by a worried frown.

"Subaru, is everything ok?" The warmth of Kamui's concern in his voice echoed and ripples into Subaru's soul. He can see the specks in the violets irises. He can easily lose himself in them, and if Kamui had leaned in a little closer...

The doorbell chimed, trance broken and Subaru hastily moves and looks away to hide a rising blush.

"I'm fine. Here's your change." Kamui blinks, nods, take the coin from Subaru's fingers. The touch is small, Kamui takes the currency and gives him a smile that Subaru's unwilling mind captures.

"So that you know, you can talk to me if you need anything." Kamui said, eyes bright and...

"I will." The resulting beaming smile was enough to make his heart beat faster and hands clammy again. He didn't notice that when Kamui left the store, he was still looking at the door until Hokuto snapped her fingers in front of him.

He blinks, and she grins at him with a knowing grin, Kakyou watches with an amused brow.

"So, care to tell me what happened?"

…he isn't sure he can resist any longer.


	4. Cherry Blossoms – Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now for interlude, also known as this Flower Shop AU's Subaru's relationship with Seishirou.

He's staring at the television screen, head tucked into the crook of his sister's neck. Bruises ran along his neck, fingerprinted by a large hand.

"On today's news, the serial killer, the ‘Sakurazukamori,' has been finally captured.

_"H-Hi, I'm Sumeragi Subaru." Subaru stuttered. He was fifteen, and the other was an attractive man in his mid-twenties. The older man quirks a smile with a chuckle._

_"It's a pleasure to meet you, Subaru-kun. I'm Sakurazuka Seishirou."_

"Sakurazuka Seishirou has been convicted by many homicides and attempted murder on another victim that wished to remain anonymous."

_"Are you the owner of this flower shop?" The tall dark-haired man in glasses asks with a genial smile._

_"M-my grandmother runs it. My sister and I are just helping." Subaru shyly replied._

"He is also found accounted for abuse of his recent victim." His body shook at the fact, prompting Hokuto to tighten her arms around him and whisper soothing noises into his ear.

_"Seishirou-san, d-do you want to go out for coffee for some time?" He was 24, and the other is in mid-thirties. He and Hokuto had known Seishirou for nine years already, and he still blushes around him like a teenage girl with a crush. Seishirou looks at him in astonishment and offers a kind smile._

_"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that, Subaru-kun?" Subaru feels his blush goes into a deeper color and his eyes widen at the smile before he smiled back._

"Each victim was found with a sakura blossom and are placed on the dead bodies."

_"Subaru, where did you get that bruise?" Hokuto asked as she points to a startling pinkish purple patch of skin around his wrist. He flinches, glove hands covering it._

_"I have accidentally bumped into a rail." His twin looks at him at first, silently hoping that she didn't notice how much his smile is fake. She shakes her head._

_"Same old Subaru, so how's Sei-chan doing?" He glanced around, finding slight relief that he wasn't there yet._

_"He's doing fine." That's the first time he lied to Hokuto._

"Police are looking over at Ueno Park for any signs of bodies. So far they've recovered thirty, but it's estimated to be a much higher number than that." He's felt sick, very sick and guilty as bile rise in his throat. How could he not notice this?

_"How long?" Hokuto glares at her brother. She asked Subaru to model for one of her collections, and one outfit is somewhat edgy. He turns it down, but she frowns when she pokes his shoulder with a finger firmly. His body flinches. Green eyes are looking back at each other, and she pulls him with her to an empty changing room and makes him strip. He hesitantly did so, and she froze in horror. It took several beats of silence before she asks the question that's been seared into her mind when she saw those bruises that covered him in different colors._

_"How long has he been hurting you?" He looks away, the silence was chilling, and Hokuto thinned her lips to a dark frown._

_"We need to call the police."_

"Due to the rising count of victims found around a tree, the Ueno Park will be closed until further notice." Disgust, anger, guilt, self-loathing, relief, his emotions are in a swirl of chaos, and he couldn't stop them because they centered around one person.

_In their shared apartment and on the floor, he was choking, his hands scrambling and trying to pry large hands enclosed on his windpipe as they pressed down._

_"W-Why?" His vision is blurry; he can see the glasses and the amber eyes that lay behind them._

_"It's because you told someone about our little secret, Subaru-kun." He hears the rapid thumps of the door or maybe his heart as his lungs struggle to breathe._

_"You just make it so easy Subaru-kun, enough for making you become an unknown number of my long list victims as Sakurazukamori." His heart broke, and the door burst. The pressure is gone, and he could breathe again, he hacks and coughs, and pulled into a set of warm and comforting arms. He looks over to see the police had tackled Seishirou to the ground and rendered him immobile, the tension release from his body and dragged into slumber._

"He'll be waiting for a trial in a week's time. In other news-" Hokuto turns off the TV and drags Subaru further into her embrace.

"I'm here, Subaru. He won't hurt you anymore." He doesn't answer, but nuzzles into the crook of her neck and feeding off her warmth.

_"Do you like cherry blossoms?" Seishirou asks jovially at seeing a basket of cherry blossoms nearby._

_Seishirou-san…_


	5. White and Yellow Gladiolus

Hokuto wasn't pleased. In fact, she's perfectly aware of Kamui's obliviousness, but for Subaru to let an opportunity to not fight for Kamui's affections is what made her displeased.

"Subaru! How could you lose an opportunity like that?!" Hokuto snarled at him. He winced. "I get it that Seishirou had taken up most of your heart, that does not mean you cannot pursue what you want!"

"But-he-"

"Kamui-chan is good for you! You are probably good for him for Shinken's sake!" Subaru looks at Hokuto aghast.

"How could you say that?! Kamui is perfect. He's not as damaged as me!" Hokuto glared at her brother and swatted his head.

"No! How dare you?! You hadn't seen him when he came to the flower shop looked like his whole world has been stolen from him when Kotori-chan diagnosed with final stages of bone cancer! You hadn't tried to get him to open up when his mother, only single parent, died in the fire!" Subaru's eyes widen at this. That Kamui came to the shop before and he hadn't noticed...

"K-Kamui was here?" Hokuto lessens her glare, runs her fingers through his bangs.

"Don't blame yourself. You weren't around when Kamui-chan first came in. He was cold, but I managed to soften him up before Kotori-chan came by. You should've seen his first love expression. It's such an adorable expression! I remembered it like it was yesterday." Hokuto said with a giggle, and Subaru looks at the floor and away from green eyes that look at him knowingly.

"When did he first come into the shop?" Subaru asks quietly, and Hokuto hums at this.

"It's around the time that you decided to go out with Seishirou. Make that a year before that." Subaru drops his head into his hands. For five years, five years Kamui had come to the flower shop, and he hadn't even noticed him. Too busy with his own life, dreams, and love life that he didn't see Hokuto talking excitingly about a new customer that she managed to persuade to come in and talk and buy flowers. That stray thought made him irrationally jealous for Hokuto managing to speak with Kamui first and guilty for not being around more when he decided to pursue a career as a zookeeper due to his love of animals and Seishirou's influence. His sad thoughts were cut off by another whack to the head.

"Subaru, it's not your fault! I know where your train of thoughts is going, so don't even bother to apologize to me!" Hokuto said with a scowl and hands him a yellow gladiolus.

"H-Hokuto-chan..." Subaru looks at Hokuto; her scowl turns into a smile.

"You are letting him win by wallowing in self-loathing. Don't. If you want to get back at him, prove to him that you can live a life without him." Subaru blinks, a wobbling smile appears on his face, and he wraps Hokuto in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Hokuto-chan." Hokuto lets out a huff, wraps her arms around Subaru equally tight. He didn't see Hokuto's smile changed to a smirk.

"You can make it up to me by trying to steal Kamui-chan's affection from his crush."

"Hokuto-chan!!!"

* * *

“Subaru, this is my date, Monou Fuuma. Fuuma, this is my best friend, Sumeragi Subaru. He and his sister own the Chobits Flower Shop..." Subaru didn't bother listening anymore, inwardly he winced at the wave of hurt at being called a best friend, and begins analyzing Kamui's crush named Monou Fuuma.

There were times that Subaru wished he wasn't too kind or compassionate. Enough to not feel guilty or contemplating in taking up his sister's idea. Now is perhaps one of those times he thought like that. He doesn't like the way the tall and lanky guy hung around Kamui with his arm around him casually. Doesn't like the way his sidled smirks and haughty grins makes Kamui blush and bristles around him, revealing a side of Kamui that Subaru never saw before. Doesn't like how Kamui's eyes brighten when seeing Fuuma with him in entering The Chobits Flower Shop.

Maybe it was wrong of him to want to pry the other away when they are so happy with each other.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Monou-san." Subaru says with a polite smile he fights to keep on. Fuuma replies with an amused one.

"Likewise."

Maybe it has something due to the look in the tall teen's eyes that reminds him all too much of his ex, something dark and wants to break something they deemed beautiful.

"So how may I help you guys today?" Subaru asks, he watches as Fuuma tightened his grip around Kamui, the amused grin on his face didn't leave. Subaru grips the handle of his scissors underneath the counter.

"We are just browsing." Subaru feels a displeased frown about to form and squashed it. Kamui's eyes widen at what Fuuma said and rolled his lilac eyes.

"Ignore him. He's just anxious to go back to kendo club at our school. Do you have any flowers that represent purity and strength? We will be visiting Fuuma's friend sibling in a hospital after practice." Kamui's reply caused Subaru's polite smile becomes genuine.

"I may have something you will like. They are called gladiolus and in a variety of colors. We have them in white as well for this occasion. How much would you guys like?" Subaru asks, warmth fill his whole being at feeling Kamui's full attention on him.

"Half a dozen-" "Just three should be fine." Subaru blinks at how Fuuma cuts off Kamui's sentence. Subaru inhales a breath, grits his teeth.

"I guess half a dozen should be fine." Fuuma grins playfully at Kamui, Subaru nods and turns around to get some in the fridge. Reaching the half of dozens of white gladioluses, he glanced at the reflection on the fridge and nearly dropped the flowers. Kamui pressed against the counter and was lip-locked with Fuuma, almost bending him over. Heart sank to his stomach and fire lit and burns inside him. Fuuma's eyes were open. Subaru shakes his head and takes the flowers and put them in the store's vase, and clears his throat. Kamui's eyes opened and pushed Fuuma away.

"If both of you are finished. Could you tell me what color of wrapping paper will you like?" Subaru asks in a frosty voice to which Kamui flinched and stares at Subaru in surprise. Fuuma chuckles at this.

"White, since it's for Nataku's little sister." Fuuma said, pleased and Subaru's hand twitched.

"Very well then." Subaru wraps up the flowers, and he's furious at himself for not saying anything to Kamui. Once he wraps up the flowers, rings up the price and gives them the change. His fingers brush Kamui's after passing the bouquet to which he jumps, startled.

"Extend my regards to your crush's friend." Subaru said with a soft smile, let's his fingers linger for a second longer than necessary before retracting them. Kamui looks at him, a question in his eyes before smiling back at him.

"I will." As soon as they left, Subaru drops his head onto the cash register.

"I am an idiot."

"I'm not sure if you are an idiot, but if you were, I would say you are a very handsome idiot." A familiar voice tingles in the air, and Subaru jolts up to see painted lips, magenta hair, and eyes behind her tan sunglasses. The woman wears a red beret, a white sleeveless shirt, and a long black skirt. He smiles at this.

"It's been a while Karen-san." Karen laughs gently, taking off her sunglasses.

"So it has Subaru-san. How are you and my favorite designer doing?" Subaru chuckles.

"She's doing good. She's not here at the moment since she stepped out to buy more fabrics. If you like, you could leave your contact here, and I'll tell her to call you." Her painted red lips widen marginally.

"That would be nice, thank you Subaru-san." He hands her a scrap of a piece of paper and pen and writes down her number with Karen's name on it.

"So how are you doing?" The corner of her lips twitched.

"Better."

"And Aoki-san?" Her magenta eyes dimmed.

"I've broken up with him." Subaru inhales his breath.

"Karen-san..."

"Don't. I knew what I was getting into when I saw the wedding band on Aoki-san's finger. I just couldn't do it. He loves her and the daughter they've created together. I can see it, and as much as I wanted to have that, I didn't want to make him choose. So I chose for him." Karen said with a sad smile filled with reminiscing and yearning. Subaru looks at the counter.

"I wished I could have helped." Magenta eyes blinked at him, her blue smile chips away a bit.

"I'll be fine. I'm a big girl. I can handle myself." Karen teased, smile going slightly wider at his weak smile.

"You know, back when I was a part-time model, a blonde model was looking at you." Karen blinks, a thoughtful frown on her face.

"Older or younger?"

"Older." Karen snorts out a laugh.

"Kigai Yuuto? I thought he was dating Kanoe-san." The corner of Subaru's lips twitched.

"Yeah, I thought so too. Until Hokuto-chan told me that they had a row a month ago and they broke up." Karen has a surprised look in her eyes.

"Huh. That's odd. That's the time I've broken up with Aoki-san." Subaru frowns slightly at this.

"Maybe you should talk to him." Karen hums as if testing the idea in her mind.

"Maybe, or I could go for Nokoru-san?" Subaru shook his head at her joking tone.

"He's married to his job, and I think he's dating someone." Karen chuckles at this.

"Remember how we told him about the rumor that's been speculating around him and Suoh-san, despite Nagisa-san marriage to Suoh-san. He sulked for a week before deciding to give in and holds a press conference about his love life and that he isn't with Suoh-san." Subaru laughs at this.

"Well I have to go, will I see you on the catwalk?" Subaru shook his head in negative.

"Someone needs to keep watch over the shop." Karen smiles at this.

"Before I go, can I have some white roses? I'm going to visit my mother." Subaru nods.

"Of course."


	6. White Yarrows, Blue Camellia, White Carnations, Variegated Dahlia and Yellow Primroses

Subaru sulks behind the counter. Two months and a week. He rarely sees Kamui at the Chobits Flower Shop nowadays. Well, he does see Kamui coming into the shop, but he isn't alone as he used to be. He's usually with Fuuma or Fuuma's friend Nataku who seems to hate Kamui for some odd reason. He wasn't sure that whatever he's been doing manages to attract Kamui even, but he misses his presence, the smiles, small blushes, their conversations and his laughter. Although Karen was a welcome addition to being a regular, she rarely comes by due to the difficulty of the tight schedule as a model. Kamui brightens his days and steady leading his heart away from a dark place, even though Kamui is unaware of it happening. He sighs as he rings a bouquet for a customer ordered two days ahead when a shocking a brown-eyed blond-haired man in a brown suit with blue tie steps into the shop.

"Hello, I was w- Subaru-san?" Green eyes widen.

"Yuuto-san? It's been a while." The blond male grins back at Subaru jovially.

"So this is where you've been, I've never pegged for you to be a flower shop owner," Subaru smirks dryly.

"I've never pegged you to dump your long-term girlfriend either." The blond laughed sheepishly.

"Yeah, I've never expected it either. Kanoe had said some unsavoury things." Subaru blinks at this, narrows his green eyes.

"Was it about Karen-san?" Yuuto's fingers twitched, smile freezing polite.

"It's not just her. I just grew tired of it." Subaru arches his eyebrow.

"Do I want to know?" Yuuto shook his head. He prefers not to talk about it.

"You don't, it's..." Yuuto lets out a sigh. "not pretty." Subaru frowns at this.

"You know, Hokuto-chan was willing to bet that you quit CNRA and decided to join Piffle & Daidouji. How much of that is true?" Yuuto's smile merges into a genuine amusement.

"I've been considering." Subaru snorts.

"So are you here to talk or you are here to buy flowers?" Yuuto chuckles at this.

"I want to buy flowers. Do you have anything that represents a cure for heartaches?" Subaru looks at Yuuto curiously before smirks.

"Is it for Karen-san?" Yuuto smiles pleasantly at this.

"Am I that transparent?" Subaru shrugs.

"Only to our close friends. You are in luck. We have some fresh yarrows." Yuuto raised an eyebrow, and a small thoughtful grin comes on to his face.

"Do you have anything that says ‘You are the flame in my heart' and ‘thinking of you constantly'?"

"Those will be Blue Camellias and Variegated Dahlias," Subaru replies helpfully, he went to retrieve the flowers from the fridge and ones from the buckets on the shelf before arranging them in the store's vase.

"You are not going to ask?" Yuuto asks curiously. Subaru hums.

"About how long you love Karen-san? I'm not interested. If you hurt Karen-san, that's another thing entirely." Subaru said firmly, nodding at the flower arrangement he made.

"Anything else?" Yuuto looks at the bouquet with a thoughtful frown. "I think roses are a little overused, so do you have anything that's pure love, good luck, and in red?" Subaru hums thoughtfully.

"Well, usually most people have given roses or tulips to the people they treasure the most, though I'm curious as to why do you want a flower to have a meaning for good luck?" At this question, Subaru looks at Yuuto, and his eyes widen in astonishment at seeing a sad smile on the blond man's face.

"Do you remember the time when we all crashed at my apartment all drunk?" Subaru furrows his eyebrows together.

"That was three years ago." A fond smile spreads across the blond's lips. It's filled with affection, regret, and yearning.

"She told me her story, where she didn't have a happy childhood and her mother isn't the best parent. She still loves her mother, but she doesn't think she, herself, is worth crying over. I've kissed her then. I wasn't sure entirely if it's due to being drunk or due to make her know she's worth it being fussed and cried over. It was stupid to do it at that time since I was with Kanoe and Karen was available, but I don't regret it. The only thing I regret was causing Kanoe pain and falling out of love with her." The blond model said softly, Subaru stares at Yuuto and saw the depths of his feelings for both women.

"...the flower you've been looking for isn't in red, but a white carnation. Lucky for you, we have it in stock." Yuuto looks up at Subaru, blinks in shock and he gives the green-eyed man a grateful smile.

"Thank you Subaru-san." Subaru nods in the acknowledgment, and he retrieved a couple of white carnations from behind a bucket and added it to the bouquet.

"So what colour of wrapping paper would you like?"

"I think pink would do." Subaru nods at this and wraps the bouquet in carefully before tying it with a blue ribbon. He drafted up the price to Yuuto, and the cost of the flowers paid, he looks at Yuuto in the eye.

"Treat her well. I hope she likes the flowers." Yuuto looks back at Subaru and nods.

"I will, and I hope so too." Subaru watches Yuuto walks out of the shop, and he begins to add the finishing touches of another bouquet with three yellow primroses and variegated Dahlias when his phone rang. He checks the phone screen, his eyes widen and pick it up.

"Hello Kamui, what can I do for you?"

"Is this Sumeragi Subaru?" Subaru frowns at the unfamiliar male voice that answers.

"Yes, that would be me."

"This is Detective Yamada of the Tokyo Metropolitan police. We will like to ask what's your relationship with Shirou Kamui." Subaru frowns a bit more.

"We are just close friends. He comes by the shop to chat sometimes."

"When did you last see him?" Subaru blinks, he feels dread cementing, sinking into him.

"Around last Thursday afternoon, close to 4 pm. Why? What's going on?" Yamada sighs.

"We have a reason to believe that Shirou Kamui is missing, Sumeragi-san. A Monou Fuuma and a Toujou Nataku are missing as well. Do you know anyone who he has last been with?" He lost his grip on his cell phone as it slides from his hand to the floor.

"Hello? Hello?" Subaru stares numbed at the cellphone on the floor, and all he could think of was 'Kamui' and 'missing,' and he couldn't comprehend nor registers that those two words shouldn't even be on the same sentence. His heart felt numb and falls through his organs and landing in his stomach.


	7. Pink Magnolias, Stargazer Lilies, White Orchids, Violet Chrysanthemum, and Blue Anemones

Subaru feels like his mind goes blank, his limbs felt mechanical and hearing surrounded by white noise. He absently talks to the police, everything he knows about Kamui and Fuuma, almost everything besides his feelings for the teen that reached the cusp of the adulthood before going missing.

His hand twitches, aching for something to occupy it and his mouth. He never thought he'd go back into the habit of smoking and Hokuto had forbidden smoking in the shop and inside of the apartment above it because the cigarette might taint the white fabrics she has in the living room and her room. His fingers twitched again for need, for anything to keep them occupied and not think of the worst. On busy days he is fine, but on days when work is slow and not that many customers is where the worst imaginations consume his mind and he feels like a trapped animal and fretting with worry and fears.

Green eyes keep on glancing the landline and his cell phone, ready to pounce if it rings or any news about Kamui's whereabouts. Days turn to months, and patience becomes compromised that Hokuto begins noticing that he began to develop new habits. Pacing, following the news like a possessed man, it affects his work ethics. It's when he almost snapped at a customer and an apology halfway out of his mouth that Hokuto drags Subaru out to talk after the customer leaves.

"You have the day off for today. I'll ask Kakyou-kun to help me." Subaru stares at her in bewilderment.

"Hokuto-chan, I'm fine." She stares back at him with an unamused expression.

"That wasn't you snapping at one of our customers, right?" Subaru winces guiltily.

"I didn't mean too, I just...I..." Neither of them voices out, but both knew, and Hokuto softens her face and wraps Subaru in a hug.

"I'm worried too." The hugged each other in silence and for comfort. It lessens the ache, but it didn't alleviate the worries in Subaru.

"Subaru, how long have you been in love in Kamui-kun?" Hokuto whispers into Subaru's ear, and she feels her brother tense in her embrace.

"I...I don't know. Maybe since I've met him or the time he asks for some flowers for Fuuma-san. There's something about him that draws me in, he's..." Subaru tries to form words in his mind and all he could think of is. "...whole, beautiful, kind, and I have a long list of words I can say, but it'll probably take too long to say all of it. He..." Subaru feels his breath left him as he remembers Kamui's smile, laughter, eyes shining the brightest at remembering fond memories of Kotori and his mother, Tohru. "...he makes me feel whole, feels like waking up from a dream instead of a nightmare, and makes me feel that I can finally believe in myself." Hokuto abruptly pulls away, looks at him in surprise and squeals, dragging him back into a tighter hug.

"I'm so going to spoil Kamui-chan as my brother-in-law!" Subaru freezes, face in deep red and drops his head onto Hokuto's shoulder.

"Hokuto-chan!" Subaru lets out a whine, and Hokuto's shakes in laughter, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes, but she could never be happier than now.

 _That never gets old._ Hokuto thinks, didn't let go of her arms around her twin. She looks at the tree nearby. It wasn't a sakura tree like the rest of the city's trees, but rather a magnolia tree. It's in full bloom with pink flowers.

_Wherever you are Kamui-chan, I hope you are ok. If anything happens to you, I don't think my brother will be this whole anymore._

* * *

It's another week with no news, the boost of hope he gotten from Hokuto starts to wane when a flash of chocolate and violet enters into the store and he inhales a breath, only to let go. The woman has long chocolate locks of hair, violet eyes behind glasses and she wore long blue jeans, a sleeveless black shirt, and a brown shoulder strap bag. She looks at Subaru, her face shutters and she walks towards him with a polite smile.

"Hello there. Do you have any flowers for good luck and get well?" She asks pleasantly, and Subaru narrows his green eyes at her.

"Yes, we do have some. While most prefer peonies, we have other variations as well." Subaru watches as the woman smile at this.

"Do you have anything in blue?" A polite smile slides in easily on his face, and he nods.

"We have Blue Anemones." The brunette woman nods. "I would like to take those."

Subaru nods, asks how many flowers she would like, to which she wants half a dozen. He was about to put the flowers in the store's vase when she asks a question that startled him.

"Are you and Kamui-kun close, Sumeragi-san?" He drops the flowers in the vase in shock and turns to the woman; panic rises inside of him.

"We are best friends." The woman raises an eyebrow, and a curious look appears on her face.

"My apologies for startling you." She smiles apologetically. "My name is Magami Tokiko, Kamui-kun's aunt, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Sumeragi-san." She said, holding out her hand, he glances at it wearily before cautiously and gently clasping hers in a shake.

"Sumeragi Subaru." For a moment, Tokiko frowned thoughtfully before she chuckles.

"You're not Hokuto-san?" Subaru feels his body relaxing and let's go of her hand.

"Hokuto-chan is my twin sister."

"Ah, fraternal or identical?" Subaru quirks another polite smile.

"Fraternal." Tokiko smiles back at him, equally polite.

"It seems that Kamui-kun not only inherits his looks from his mother but her taste as well." Subaru looks at Tokiko; he feels his heart pumping steadily into a faster beat.

"What?" Tokiko smiles slightly, while it may have surprised and made her worried about her only nephew being taken advantaged by an older man by how much he talks about the said man in front of her. Even when Kamui's in a relationship with someone his age, there is no denying the soft smile and sparkling violet eyes she's seen on Kamui. It brings an ache of reminiscing of Tohru, where she talks about Saya and her face had a glow like Kamui's.

"His mother, Shirou Tohru, had the same look like his when they talk about the people they cherish the most." Subaru's hands fell limp at the implications.

"Kamui and I aren't together." The words feel like poison to his heart, it's the truth, and he had been foolish to guard his scarred heart while the opportunity had been laid out in front of him.

"So how did you and Kamui-kun meet?" Tokiko asks inquisitively, shifting her stance and changing the topic to a safer one.

"I was managing the cashier and some bouquets...and he was on his way to his girlfriend's funeral." Tokiko softens her expression, hands gently touching Subaru's and not minding the small flinch.

"You're sister has been worried about you. She called me up." Green eyes looked at Tokiko's eyes; violet eyes stared back. The same shades as Kamui's. They echoed the same emotions for the missing teen, but the depth is inequality. Tokiko smiles gently.

"Hokuto-san knew Kamui-kun's mother. I was fourteen when Tohru-nee introduced me to her as a friend, but I could tell the look in Hokuto-san's eyes that she felt something different." Subaru breathes in at the revelation, eyes widening. Hokuto didn't tell him this.

"Don't blame Hokuto-san for not telling you. It's her story to tell." The violet-eyed woman said, squeezing his hand gently.

"It...it must've been grating for her to be called with ‘san' instead of ‘chan.'" Subaru weakly smiles, and Tokiko laughs gently. Her hands let go of his.

"Kamui-kun told me about his first meeting with Hokuto-san." Subaru's curiosity peaks at this.

"He was confused as to why Hokuto-san would keep on insisting in telling him to say ‘Hokuto-neechan' instead of ‘Hokuto-san' and as to why she was looking at him with a fond sad expression." Tokiko sadly smiles at this, looking at the stargazer lilies behind him in the fridge. The faint reflection of herself reflects. "It didn't dawn on me that Hokuto-san, at one point, had fallen for Tohru-neechan, and I look so much like Tohru-neechan that I rarely come to the shop anymore." The silence in the store is tranquil as the light showers in the springs of May. Subaru respectfully kept silent.

"He also told me of his first meeting with you," Tokiko said softly, and Subaru hitched his breath.

"What did he say?" He's anxious to hear the answer and his first impression on the teen. Tokiko smiles gently.

"He said you were quiet," His heart pumping at this, does quiet mean a bad thing? "kind, empathetic and mysterious." His heart speeds up. This is a good thing, right?

"It's a good thing." Subaru blinks, had he said that out loud? By the amused smile on Tokiko's face and a steadily fast realization that made him blush slightly, he did say that out loud.

"I don't mean to pry, but shouldn’t you be...?" Tokiko blinks and slumps her shoulders slightly.

"To be honest, I'm not. It may seem strange, but you are not the first person to be in a situation like this." Tokiko said with a sad smile. "A while ago, a teacher came to me and said a student confessed to him. He didn't want to say the name of the student, and he feels guilty for having emotions like that in the first place. Do you know what I told him?" Subaru shook his head.

"I told him to talk to the student, set some boundaries and perhaps wait until she graduates. I'm not saying that she should pursue him, and to some people, it's wrong due to the age gap, but that's her choice and she needs to know what she is getting into. She may be naive, but she has to understand that not everybody will be happy about it if she were to do it as a student now." Tokiko said looking straight into Subaru's eyes.

"Oh." Tokiko looks at Subaru for a little more while. "Why are you sharing this with me?" At Subaru's question, Tokiko felt her lips spread in another smile. This smile isn't polite, but not threatening either. He didn't know what it is, but it looks familiar somehow.

"I...was not doing well when the police called me about the news. I loved Kamui-kun not just as a nephew, but also a son. He reminds me of Tohru-neechan that it sometimes hurts because it almost feels like she's there when she already passed away. It's suffocating at home because I wake up from nightmares after nightmares for not knowing if Kamui-kun isn't ok, his whereabouts and his health." Tokiko lets out a weak smile. "Satsuki-san tells me I shouldn't worry too much, but I can't help it. I feel trapped, I feel like I should've been doing more, that I should have been out there doing something, anything to bring him back home." Subaru feels stunned, at the words Kamui's relative is saying. It dawns to him as to why that smile is so familiar. It was an empathetic smile of what he might be going through.

"I'm terrified too." Violet eyes widen. “I'm scared of not knowing of where he is; I'm scared of the fact he might be hurt, I'm disgusted at myself for not being there to help him when he needs someone." Water drops down onto the counter. "I'm terrified at confessing to him because this is the second time I've ever felt this happy and that I might mess up. I've been yearning for him to look at me like he looks at Fuuma-san, how much I wanted to hold his hand and feel his heartbeat to know it's there and beating for me and I miss him. Miss him so much that it's affecting my work behaviour and mind and I can't think straight in not knowing that he's ok." Tokiko stares at Subaru speechless. The silence in between them is emotionally charged and heavy; she didn't dare make a sound until she smiles softly and gently as if understanding what he's been going through. She reaches over and pulls Subaru into a hug.

"Thank you." She whispers into his ear. The words mean a lot of things, but he didn't have the time to talk or ask about it, and she lets go waiting for him getting his composure.

"I'm sorry." He replies back softly. Maybe she understood what those words are for, or maybe she didn't, but she didn't judge which makes it's a lot more uplifting to Subaru. He clears his throat and his eyes look lighter.

"So which colour of wrapping paper would you like for your flowers?" Tokiko smiles kindly.

"White please." Subaru wraps up the bouquet and rings up the price. He gives the bouquet after receiving the money, and a blue anemone was handed to him. He blinks at Tokiko, and she smiles at him a little more.

"Take it. Unlike my nephew, I know what these flowers mean when I stepped into Chobits. Tohru-neechan told me when she first received them by Hokuto-san." He frowns and takes the blue flower.

"Why?" She smirks at this.

"You can say I was evaluating Kamui-kun's potential husband." Subaru drops the flower in his hand, it flutters down to the counter and he is sure his face is burning. Kamui's aunt grins at him cheekily.

"I'll call you if the police found anything. Thank you for recommending the flowers to Kamui-kun by the way." He stood there as she walked out of the store, the door chimed ringing after her and his face still burning red.

* * *

It was October when she called, October when the relief grasps its claws on his heart and took doubts to flight, and when old worries and fear left and new ones replacing it. A student came by, blond and kind brown eyes, asking if Kamui had been found yet. Not for the first time, Subaru had been envious and wished he was Kamui's age so he can be close to Kamui before he went missing and hold him tight just to tell him that Fuuma isn't the Fuuma he believes to be.

He was in the middle of arranging a bouquet for another customer with Hokuto when Tokiko called. A violet chrysanthemum in his hand and flower falling limply into the pile of Stargazer Lilies, White Orchids, and other chrysanthemums at "Kamui-kun is at the Tokyo University hospital. If you have the time, please come immediately." and he feels lighter than the past few months of worrying, pacing, fearful and nightmares that won't go away. Her voice in his cellphone must've been loud enough for Hokuto to hear because she pushes him away from the counter and gives him a look.

"Are you going to stay there or are you going to the hospital to be with Kamui-chan?" She asks calmly, and Subaru barely registers the question because there were so many emotions in his heart that's hard to identify besides joy and relieve being in the threshold. She taps her foot on the floor impatiently.

"Well? Are you going or not?" He needs to take a second, a minute, to let the feelings sink and his heart breathes for the first time since Kamui went missing.

"I-I..." Hokuto raises an eyebrow.

"Don't worry about me; I'll call Kakyou-kun to help." His heart raced faster, with joy and he needs- _needs..._

He pulled Hokuto into his arms and squeezed her in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Hokuto-chan." He lets go, hurriedly takes off his apron, takes his wallet and runs out of the store to catch a cab to Tokyo University Hospital.


	8. The White Bouquet with Blue and Purple Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Individual flowers to bouquets and words...

_Admission_

"Excuse me! Could you tell me which room is a Shirou Kamui in?" The receptionist blink at a handsome man who is disheveled, breathless, and looks like he ran for miles, which is sort of not far from the truth.

It took a while to understand that he was talking to her and asking for the recent patient whereabouts. She's flustered and hastily looks at the computer for the name and room.

"H-he's in room 519, just came out of the ER, but s-sir-" The receptionist looks up to see the handsome man with green eyes and raven hair runs into the elevator.

_Blood_

Tokiko rested against the chair, tired from the blood transaction, besides her nephew in the hospital bed in front of her. Her nephew is sleeping in a drug-induced sleep, dreamless and mercifully saving him from a den of nightmares where no dream catchers stand guard. She looks at how pale his skin is, the scars on his body and the bruised shadow of a cuff around his neck, the X-rays she was given by the doctors. She has to know, has to know what other horrors that her nephew witness to be on equal ground with and to help him. Thoughts scattered when the door opens, and she tiredly turns her head to see Subaru, breathless and eyes filled with emotions and there.

Subaru being here is both relief and equally heartbreaking.

"Tokiko-san, how is he?" The florist asks thickly, and she musters a weak smile.

"You might want to sit down." She offers the chair beside her and Subaru knows that while Kamui found is the good news, him being in the hospital isn't.

_Numb_

He was found chained up in the attic of one of the suburban homes and on a mattress. His body was stabbed in a precise way and avoiding the organs that one would think he bled to death, but he didn't. Fuuma had taken care of that. He barely can hold himself up when the police came and had tackled Fuuma and Nataku to the floor below. Kamui was left undressed, and barren when they opened the attic.

Subaru feels numb, hollowed, hurt and angry as he lets the information dug into his mind, bones and his heart.

It had gotten worse when a doctor came in, the one who took care of Kamui's wounds.

The words that left the doctor's lips had given Subaru a strange feeling he never experienced before. The feelings inside him feel white, hot, and it came with the desire to hurt another person.

Kamui had been raped.

What Subaru felt at that moment is rage.

_Hand_

It's been a few days and the news about Fuuma and Nataku's trial couldn't have come any sooner, because Subaru had been eyeing the scissors in the stationary cup in the store. He imagines the sharp cut in the inner thigh, the space between the ribs and between the lungs and heart, the arms and hands of Fuuma. He envisions the blood coming out of the wounds, and the look of Fuuma's face when he decides this wasn't enough. That one of his ear, fingers, toes or his tongue needs to be cut off with a sharp blade. How would it feel to commit abuse against an abuser? Will it be satisfactory? Would it grant him atonement? Would it make the abuser feel empathy and remorse for what they've done? For what they had done to Kamui when he was held captive?

He feels disgust rising to his throat, hands clenching against the counter as if to abate these thoughts and banished them.

It didn't make him feel guilty for having these thoughts.

_The Bouquet of White, Blue, and Purple Flowers_

After the trial, Subaru comes to Kamui's room whenever he's free or has the day off from the flower shop. If Hokuto had her way, he would've been at the hospital every day, but he vehemently put his foot down because he knew that once he steps into Kamui's room, he doesn't want to leave.

He carries with him a bouquet of white, purple and blue flowers. Violet chrysanthemum, blue anemones, white carnations, white orchids, stargazer lilies, and white yarrows wrapped in a violet shade of paper. A part of him initially thought the flowers he had were too much, that thought gnawed him even when Hokuto pushed him out the door. He takes a breath as he pushes the door of Kamui's room open. His heart drops at Kamui still asleep. Subaru thought he would have wakened up by now. He sighs and takes the flowers that were in a bedside vase, they were dying like his hope and replaced them with the bouquet he has with them. He sits in the chair beside Kamui and takes his hand in his own. The IV drips down the tube, heartbeat monitor beeps, and the sound of oxygen mask working, but they all sound too quiet and too rhythmic all the same. No change, no movement, just stillness.

The bandaged hand in Subaru's hands, as told by the doctors, was the wound had been infected, and the scar wouldn't leave after being healed. It was a reminder, a mark that Fuuma is having the last laugh even behind bars. He hopes that Fuuma and Seishirou, why did he think of that man now when he hadn't thought of him for a long while, never meet. If they did, then...then...what?

Subaru's mind goes blank as to what to do with this information, he shouldn't need to care about his ex or Fuuma, but oh he does. Subaru tightens his hands, and he presses his lips to the back of Kamui's hand where the scar lay. It was perverse in a sense. To hope two people that affected their lives suffer for the pain they inflict. He's glad they won't leave the facility, but he doesn't think he is willing to visit old bonds anytime soon.

"Please, wake up." Subaru's voice echoes quietly into the room. "I'm feeling insane and out of my mind if you don't. I-I," Subaru blinks back the wetness of his eyes because Kamui is so close and so far. He's there, but not there at all. "I have so many things I want to tell you. Did you know that your mother was Hokuto-chan's first crush? Did you know that I ran to your room when I heard you're injured? D-Did you know," _Please, kami-sama, please don't fade away Kamui. I-I don't think I'll be ready for that if you do._ "that when you enter the shop and I was there, that I fell for you that day. That I couldn't stop thinking about you, can't stop wondering about you? That I wanted to be the one close to you and that I wanted to hug you close? That I was jealous at Fuuma for taking you away from me? T-that when you were missing, I feel numb. That I was ready to hurt someone for you?" Subaru's voice shook, choke at the raw emotions weaved into his words. "T-that I loved you, and I shouldn't be a coward to not take the first step, to not grabbing the first chance that was there. T-that I wanted you, see all of you, s-so please wake up." For a second and delusions of not getting enough sleep, Subaru felt Kamui's hand twitched in his grasp before falling back into stillness.

_Eyes..._

It was the fifth day, the flowers in the vase were about to dry out, and Subaru was here again. Kamui is still asleep, and Subaru smiles faintly at the peaceful look on the young male's face. Subaru holds Kamui's hands with both hands, and he talks about how his day went, the people that came in and out to check upon Kamui. The first day was the blond student that visit the store in October. He left a cookbook and math book on the table as gifts for Kamui. The second day was Arashi, and Sorata came to check on Kamui and talk with Subaru about Kamui. The next day was Karen with, and unsurprisingly, Yuuto. Karen brought in chocolate, Yuuto a basket of fruits, and both talked to Subaru and what went on with the news and catching up on how other people were doing. The fourth day was Tokiko and a small girl with glasses, her hair is in braids, but it was evident that Tokiko dotted on her very much. Satsuki wasn't smiling or frowning, but her onyx eyes lit up at seeing her cousin in the hospital bed. Tokiko shows him a picture of when Tohru and herself were younger. They left a teddy bear behind for Kamui. The last to visit on the fourth day was his sister and Kakyou. She smiles sadly at Kamui who was still in slumber. Kakyou went out to get water for all of them.

"He looks so much like her." Hokuto whispers and Subaru was the only one to hear her.

"Yes, he does." She freezes and looks at Subaru, green eyes wide, and he stares back with understanding. She clenches her hands, and she holds Subaru close, eyes wet and pressed them against Subaru shoulder, and shook with silent tears. For Hokuto, it's letting go of her puppy love. For Subaru, he feels a little more close to his sister and understands her a bit more. Hokuto pulls away for more than two moments, and it's when Kakyou arrives with three bottles of water. Absently, Subaru wonders if Kakyou knew.

The fifth day is when he got a surprise that leads his heart feeling it's about to burst. The hand he holds twitches into life. Faint at first, before becoming stronger, and Subaru watches with wide eyes as Kamui's hand curls around Subaru's. His green eyes look at the face of the hand's owner, watches in surprise, happiness and relief that Kamui's closed eyes twitches, opens slowly, closed shut, and groans. He blinks his eyes wearily, and Subaru never thought that seeing Kamui's violet eyes that turns to amethyst under the sun is the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

Kamui is awake.


	9. The Red Bouquet with Specks of Colour is My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of Flower Shop AU...

_Disgust_

Kamui woke up to lights that are too bright, hands holding one of his hands, green eyes looking down with worry and happiness that the smile echoes the same from those eyes.

"Subaru...?" His voice hoarse, and it was enough for Subaru to nod shakily, and he makes to leave, but Kamui holds his hand tight.

"Don't...leave...please." Kamui rasps against the oxygen mask, and Subaru nods. He reaches for the button hanging near the IV drips, and while Subaru stays and Kamui's mind is still hazy and filled with clouds that are starting to clear, Kamui can't help but feel disgusted at his self for things he doesn't want to remember.

_Offer_

"Kamui-kun," Kamui winced at the honorific and the doctor frowns. "I'm sorry, but would you rather not be called by that?"

"Yes." That one word is enough for both the doctor and Subaru to feel the emotion, the hollowed feelings of self-loathing and disgust. While the doctor grimaced, Subaru shivers.

"Very well then. Kamui-san, we would like to offer you physical therapy, and a psychologist will come by and talk to you." Violet eyes narrowed, glinting and withdrawn. Subaru feels like a bystander at this point.

"You want me to talk to shrinks?" The doctor raises an eyebrow at this, the carefully laden words of thin protection that'll break at the sign of a nerve being stepped on.

"That's a moniker term for their profession, but it's for you to help come to terms with what happened when you were held captive." Subaru, in a detached state of mind, watches as Kamui dug his nails inwardly and hoped they wouldn't bleed and that Kamui can take the next step.

"What if I refuse?" The doctor smiles a little thinly.

"Then you'll fall into relapse, and you might identify yourself with your abuser." Had anyone pay attention, they would have noticed that Subaru had gone pale. Those thoughts that occur near Fuuma and Nataku's trial were something he locked in a tightly closed box in the back of his mind, but it explains everything as to why he had thought like that. The emotions behind them were real, but the thoughts were whispers of someone that he had pushed far away from his heart half a year ago.

"We'll do it." Kamui looks at Subaru in, anger rising before given away to surprise. He noticed the florist is pale, green eyes in a slightly dazed and overwhelmed look, and his smile is shakily at best.

"Both of us will." Subaru looks at Kamui, watches as Kamui contorts in a surprised look before resignation.

"Yes, we will take it." The doctor smiles in relief, genial tinted on his lips.

_Nightmares_

They were halfway through to a complete session of healing, that both felt drained in reopening wounds they kept sealed with a bandage.

Subaru offered Kamui to sleep at his place. He doesn't think he wants Tokiko or Satsuki to witness the nightmares that steadily drain Kamui of his sleep.

Kamui, in reluctance to his pride and Hokuto's persuasion, agreed. Subaru feels slightly envious at how Kamui decided with Hokuto's reasoning over his, but it got Kamui to stay over. Hokuto, and whenever Kakyou was here, witnessed the nightmares that left him crying, begging, and pleading for a ghost to stop. He had gotten better when Kamui first came to the shop, replacing fretful dreams to dreamless and to ones with balls of lights that littered the night skies and a small hand in his.

Kamui's sleep wasn't anything but easy. He chokes, tries to muffle sounds, and his face flickers from shame to arousal and pain, and the cycle starts. Subaru bares witness to all of it and pulls Kamui close and limbs flails, but he locks them tight. A broken cry and Kamui gives into the warm embrace and tears of shame sweeping through the dreams.

Subaru prays this would be over, and that the dignity ripped away will be recovered.

That was easier said than done.

_Collapse_

That one time Kamui collapsed, it was enough to make Subaru's heart jumped up to his throat in fear. It was a two-day trip to visit his grandmother in Kyoto, just meeting up and catching up, nothing serious. He should have brought Kamui with him if he knew this would happen. Subaru reassures Kamui that he'll be fine, and he'll come back as soon as possible, and it was two days. Two days of without each other. Through all those psychology and physical therapy that's starting to close wounds and sealed them with mental stitches, both of them, the therapist and psychologist knew memories would never go away.

Subaru had slept very little, but enough to not fall over in those two days. Kamui, on the other hand, had kept himself awake. The bed was empty, lonely, cold, and kept on bringing back memories like a vengeful yuurei in pale white and red eyes. He didn't sleep but drank coffee to stay awake and help around the store in the back as a form of payment. When Subaru enters through the door with a ‘Tadiama,' Kamui's eyes widen and breathes and smiles with a whisper of ‘Okearinasai' and falls as dark spots spread his vision.

Admittedly, that was a terrifying sight for Subaru to witness, and he hopes that incident won't happen again.

Hokuto calls Kamui a dork and an idiot for doing something stupid like that.

_The Red Bouquet with Specks of Colours is My Heart_

It was near completion of the sessions of full recovery when Subaru, with a bout of confidence and frustrations from seeing female and male customers surrounded the temporarily violet-eyed employee, manages to ask Kamui out for a cup of coffee.

Kamui looks at Subaru in surprise and nods, words not coming out of his lips must have meant he might have caught Kamui in shock. That was good, right?

A tall woman in extravagant clothing, red eyes, long black hair and a knowing smile runs the xXxHolic cafe. The manager is the tall guy with the most bored face. Four waitresses of different hair color types that are rose, blue, white and raven. The chef wore glasses, and he's kind, friendly but has eyes on one of the waitresses. The white hair waitress and blue eyes, a Mokona Modoki, greets them at the entrance with a friend and a mischievous smile. She gestures them to follow a fellow waiter, raven hair and blue eyes and same smile as Modoki's, to their table in the corner where there are less prying eyes.

The xXxHolic cafe is one of the public, quiet, and most sought after, well as quiet as it can be with the antics of the staff, cafes in Tokyo. Subaru orders tea while Kamui orders coffee, the red bouquet of flowers next to Subaru. Kamui feels his eyes drawn to the flowers. He only saw parts of the flower arrangement, but there were a couple of red roses and tulips, and his heart sunk at the thought that maybe those flowers that Subaru arranged for someone else. Just when he begins to notices the little things Subaru do. Green eyes that grew passionate with flames of subjects he likes to talk or argue, glasses that make the florist even more attractive than he should, the curve of his lips that speaks more than the owner's voice. Subaru likes books and well-written movies or documentaries he loves, the magnolia tree both he and his sister take care of, that he's more affectionate when people start to swarm around him, and when they talk to each other about their relatives and friends, their lost dreams and guessing when Yuuto and Karen have their wedding.

"Nice bouquet." Kamui said, smiles creeping up on his face, and Kamui fingers the handle of the coffee cup and tries to ignore how much the small, soft smile on Subaru affects him.

"It is, isn't? I've arranged it personally." Kamui breathes in when it felt he couldn't inhale air because now he notices, Subaru is in love. In love with someone that's not him. Not with someone that's messed up as him.

"Who's it for?" Kamui asks, words felt like weights in his heart, and they felt heavier than possible when that soft smile spreads.

"It's for someone special." No name, does that mean Subaru doesn't want to hurt him when he reveals the person that holds his heart? _Whoever Subaru gives that bouquet to better knows they are lucky._ A smile of friendliness that's hiding paper-thin lies of being ok almost creeps out.

"This person must be someone very special to you." His violet eyes widen at the sight of red blooms onto the florist's cheeks.

"Yes, and he's sitting in front of me." _Oh joy, that person must be- what? What?_

Violet eyes widen, mouth unhinged slightly and his face aflame because of this, this can't be right. There is no way that someone as perfect, beautiful, and kind like Subaru loves him. Subaru's smiles at him and he takes the red bouquet beside him and hands it over to Kamui. Kamui finds his limbs and nearly sent the cup of coffee spilling over the table when he manages to jerk those said limbs to life and gingerly takes the flowers and sets up on his lap. He breathes and swallows.

The red bouquet contains not just red roses and red tulips. There's red and white chrysanthemums, white roses, pink and purple amaryllis, yellow daffodils, blue camellias, pink peonies, white carnations, variegated dahlia, and pink magnolias from the magnolia tree outside of the Chobits Flower Shop. Some of these flowers were the ones that Subaru told him about their meaning.

"The red bouquet with specks of colors," Kamui looks up, red drains away a bit, stuns and swallows at the honesty and intense look on Subaru's eyes and face. "is my heart, and I would like it if you accept me."

Kamui looks back at the flowers before looking back at Subaru and shakily inhales a breath.

"When...?" He needs to know, when did those feelings start, when did those feelings thrived and bloomed, and still sprouting like today.

_How the hell did I not notice?_

"Since you first stepped into the shop and when I started working there." Kamui stares at Subaru in a trance, closes his eyes and bites his bottom lip.

"I'm messed up."

"I know." Kamui swallows, and he opens his eyes to look at Subaru.

"I'm scared of falling in love again." The florist's shoulders slumped slightly.

"I understand, I've been through that." Kamui gives a weak smile.

"Could you...help me fall in love again?" Subaru green eyes widen, heartbeat a second too quick at the vulnerable and raw expression of Kamui's face because what he meant was...

"Yes." Subaru breathes.

That, was a yes, as close to acceptance to his love confession.

Fin.


	10. Flower Notes, References of Flower Symbolism, and References of Cases...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> References, notes, and all...

_Flower Notes, _Websites for flowers and their symbolisms with color:_ :_

Chatper 1: 

[White Roses](https://www.proflowers.com/blog/rose-colors-and-meanings) – Remembrance, purity, love and also used for weddings.

Chapter 2: 

[Pink Amaryllis](http://www.flowermeaning.com/amaryllis-flower-meaning/) – Like yellow roses, it symbolizes as friendship

[Purple Amaryllis](http://www.flowermeaning.com/amaryllis-flower-meaning/) – Royalty and spiritual side of life

Chapter 3: 

[Yellow Daffodils](http://thedaffodilsociety.com/wordpress/miscellany/daffodilsthe-language-of-flowers/) – Regard, Unrequited Love, respect, mirth and joyfulness, deceit, self-esteem

Chapter 4: 

Cherry Blossom – Sticking to Tokyo Babylon's representation.

Chapter 5: 

[Gladiolus (Overall)](http://www.flowermeaning.com/gladiolus-flower-meaning/) – Means strength of character, faithfulness, sincerity, infatuation, never giving up

Yellow Gladiolus – Cheerful and Compassion

White Gladiolus – Innocence and purity

Chapter 6: 

[White Yarrows](http://www.gouniqueandbeyondgiftgiving-ideas.com/flower-meanings-chart.html) – Cure of heartache, dispels sorrows, heal wounds

Blue Camellia – The flame in my heart

Variegated Dahlia – I think of you constantly!

[White Carnations](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dianthus_caryophyllus) – pure love and good luck

[Pink Gillyflower](http://blog.exoticflowers.com/blog-0/the-symbolic-meaning-of-the-gillyflower) – Endless beauty, purity, and adoration

[Yellow Evening Primroses](https://www.auntyflo.com/flower-dictionary/evening-primrose) – Shy Crush

Chapter 7: 

[Pink Magnolias](http://www.gouniqueandbeyondgiftgiving-ideas.com/flower-meanings-chart.html) – Dignity, keep the faith, don’t give up, nobility, love of nature, perseverance, and splendid beauty

[Stargazer Lilies](https://www.hunker.com/12003868/flowers-that-mean-i-miss-you) – Get well flowers, commonly chosen for getting well bouquets. Can also mean ‘I-miss-you’.

[White Orchids](http://plainviewpure.com/the-amazing-true-history-of-orchids-and-what-their-colors-represent/) – Innocence, beauty, and elegance. Chosen for wedding

[Violet Chrysanthemum](https://www.ftd.com/blog/share/chrysanthemum-meaning-and-symbolism) – symbolizes wish and get well.

[Blue Anemones](http://www.flowermeaning.com/anemone-flower-meaning/) – Good luck and get well, but can also be anticipation and protection against evil

Chapter 9: 

[Red Chrysanthemum](https://www.ftd.com/blog/share/chrysanthemum-meaning-and-symbolism) – Love and deep passion

White Chrysanthemum – Loyalty and honesty

[Pink Peony](https://www.ftd.com/blog/share/peony-meaning-and-symbolism) \- romance, prosperity, good fortune, happy marriage, riches, honor, and compassion, bashfulness

 

Note:

\- What happened to Kamui on Chapter 7 & 8 were actual events. One of which a woman was kidnapped, chained up in a storage container, and raped. Another, is where a teen was kidnapped, sexually assualt and held captive by two people.

  * [Incredible moment police find woman chained up by serial killer Todd Kohlheep inside shipping container](https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/incredible-moment-police-find-woman-chained-up-by-serial-killer-todd-kohlhepp-inside-shipping-a3562191.html)
  * [Elizabeth Smart's Harrowing Survival Story: 'I Was Raped Every Day'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hlFbHxXcZY)



 - CRNA is an abreviation to Chi No Ryu Agency.


End file.
